The Question: The Painting
by DarkKnightJRK
Summary: Syd Starr thought he had it all, until Vic Sage, aka The Question, brought his downfall with a single painting. This is a remakeparody of the backup story of Blue Beetle 5, written and drawn by Steve Ditko.


His name is Syd Starr, and he is going out of his mind.

It started at the opening of the new art show. Syd had his eye on a painting by local artist Boris Ebar. Syd doesn't even remember the name of the painting at this point, but it has the vision of a man, in ragged suit and with ragged eyes staring blankly out, huddled on the gutter on the street, with huge, monstrous feet walking around him, unaware of him. It spoke to Syd then, looking at the painting and taking out his wallet to buy it as it does now, as he finds himself in the same position as that insignificant man, small and weak under the feet of men.

As the exchange was made, and Syd gained possession of the painting, he looked out to find Nora Lace and Vic Sage, and found them next to another painting.

"Oooh, look at this one, Vic!" Nora cried as she dragged Vic's arm over with her. He's supposed to be covering the art showing, but Nora wanted to go and asked him to take her with him. He wanted to work on it alone, but he remembered the last time he had something that was remotely considered a "date," and relented.

"Huh. I dig it." Sage said as he looked at the painting pointed at Nora. It shows a man, fit and smiling, wearing a tank top and jeans with a hammer and chisel in hand.

"Nora! Vic!" Starr called out as he approached them, painting behind his back to surprise them with.

"Syd," both Vic and Nora politely reply. Neither really wanted to take Syd with them, but they both knew how Syd would cry to his "daddy" and their boss. Sam wouldn't actually do anything, but they'd rather avoid the grief.

"Check this out!" Syd said as he pulled the painting around to show them. "It's just...deep, you know? Like how man refuses to help each other. It's...real."

"...Actually, Syd. That sounds kinda pretentious." Vic replied. Syd glared at Vic, looked at Nora, who already turned back to the painting of the triumphant man. Syd spun and walked away.

The next day, at W.W.B. Studios, Syd walked down the corridor to his office. But as he walked passed Nora's office, he noticed something odd...the painting! The "triumphant man!" Syd knocked on the door.

"Come in," Nora said, in the middle of typing a story, as Syd opened the door.

"Nora!"

"Syd."

"I have a question for you, my dear."

"Shoot."

"Where did you get that painting?" Nora finally looked away from her papers and looked up to the painting.

"Oh, Vic bought it for me last night," she said, and continued with her work. Syd turned to the window to find Vic walking through the bull-pin.

Vic was about to step into his office when Syd forcefully bumped into Vic and pointed a finger into his chest. "You did it to embarrass me, didn't you?"

"What?" Vic replied.

"You bought that...that...childish painting for her to embarrass me! To mock me!" Vic widened his eyes and than stared blankly at Syd.

"Alas, detective, you've figured out my plot. I didn't buy that painting because I liked it and wanted to make my lady-friend happy, but to, in some strange metaphysical way, embarrass you." Vic started to turn and head for his office. "Dumbass."

Syd almost snarled at Vic. Syd tried to think of a good comeback to yell at Vic, make him see he's not the biggest man there, but could not think of anything. He turned and stomped away to his office.

Syd again saw the painting in Nora's office, staring at him, mocking him, laughing at him. Just like Sage. Just like...Nora. He looked down and saw the beautiful blond sitting in her chair, on the phone, probably breaking down some senator for a hot story, with the visage of the laughing inhumanity that she put up, high above her, like some sort of alter, and he realized what he must do. He went back to his office, made a phone call, and continued work as if everything was perfectly normal.

"You want us to do _what?_" The huge thug in the cheap suit asked. Beside him was another thug that could have been a twin, if not for the slightly skinnier frame and blond hair, instead of the first thug's black. Syd sat on the other side of the table, with a briefcase full of money.

"You heard me, gentlemen. $1,000 to go to W.W.B. studios, steal the painting in an office, and bring it to me."

"But, uh," the first thug said, "if you work there, can't you just steal it yourself?"

"Well..." Syd said, racking his brain for an excuse, "I am not a professional thief, I believe it would be best to leave it to the professionals." The second thug stood up and looked down on Syd.

"Okay, so you're saying that for a grand, we'll steal a painting from an office and bring it to you?"

"Yes," Syd replied. The first thug stood up alongside his almost-twin and glared.

"Get out of here, cop."

"...What--"

"I SAID, get the fuck out of here, you pig. We may look it, but we're not stupid. Even in a town this bent, we can tell a sting when we see it." Syd was about to argue that he wasn't a cop, but the first thug pulled out a gun and Syd ran before the thug could speak another word.

No where else to turn, Syd walked back to his office, crouched down on the floor behind his desk, and waited until morning, staring at the insignificant man in the painting across from him, only to find himself.

The sun cracks through the window, waking Syd from a pitiful half-slumber. He dreamed he was the man in his painting, diving and jumping and crawling away from the huge feet unknowingly trying to stomp onto him. He suddenly looks up to see above him, the man in Nora's painting, looking down at Syd. Laughing, the man's face transforms to that of Vic Sage, before crushing Syd with the heel of his shoe.

He knows what he has to do, now. He has to kill the painting himself.

He stands up, almost falling over. He leans on his desk as his knees stop trembling. He opens the door and walks out, hearing laughter aimed at him, at all directions, laughing at his puniness.

"Stop that! Stop that laughing!" He screams out as he takes out a switchblade he bought to fool himself into the ability to defend himself if he ever came face to face with a mugger. "It's not my fault!" He yells as he bumps into a desk on the edge of the bull-pin, papers flying away in the air-conditioned wind. He finally sees Nora's office and starts walking towards it, staring into the painted man's gleaming eyes.

"I tried to be like you! I tried to be strong, but it's a LIE! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIE!"

He ran into the office, where Nora and Vic stared at Syd. Vic, behind the desk, places his foot on the desk and pushes. The desk collides and smashes into Syd, dropping him to the ground. He curls into a fetal position, sobbing and muttering.

"Why must you mock me?" He asks, over and over. "Why must you mock me? Why must you mock me?"

The police take Syd away, bound in a straightjacket. They take him away, sirens blaring as they drive off. Vic Sage and Nora Lace, unaware of being Syd's tormentors, are the only ones who watch. They stand out there, leaning onto the building, in silence. Finally Vic inadvertently mumbles whatever's going on in his mind.

"Did you say something?" Nora asks. Vic looks up and answers.

"I said, 'I actually kind-of feel sorry for him.' From the sound of it, he wanted to be a good person, but when he failed, he couldn't see that he had the opportunity to get back up." He looks at Nora. "Everyone has the opportunity to come back and change, you know? It's just a matter of seeing it." He puts his hand on the back of his head and softly laughs. "I know, I probably sound just as pretentious as Syd did in the art show yesterday..."

"No. Not at all." Nora says. "Come on, let's get some lunch." She offers her arm and Vic wraps his arm around hers, and walk off to the nearest diner.

End


End file.
